Ten to fifteen minutes ago, I was checking my answers for the JEE mains test that I wrote on the 19th of April with the unofficial key released on a Facebook page and my score turned out to be rather disappointing. I did terribly in Physics, just scarcely okay Math and wonderfully in Chemistry.
~6 months ago, the JEE mains didn't mean much to me. There wasn't a single college that I'd wanted to go to which took admissions only through the JEE mains. Along came IISc and then MEC and suddenly I wanted to do well in it just so that I could have an option of going there. But with the score that I'm getting, there's no possible way that I can get admitted into the IISc. MEC remains doubtful with no data available on the previous years cut-offs (because there weren't any).
At this point, I must admit, the future looks bleak. IISc and MEC were supposed to be my safety colleges but now with them being pulled out of the picture by a poor performance in the JEE Mains, it is going to be a perform or perish moment when the BITSAT and the JEE Adv. come along next month. The thought of it being July and me not having a proper college to study in terrifies me.
What now? Right now, I have to prepare my room and my mind to accept the fact that I will be going to study Math, Physics and Chemistry from tomorrow again.
Edit : A friend helped me achieve that last goal.