Monday, July 7, 2014

A Goodbye.

I got selected to study Design at IIT Guwahati and I have decided to accept that offer.

I do not think that I can continue writing on this blog any longer (at least not for an audience). Why? These last two years have changed me as a person. The posts from 2-4 years ago, no longer describe me as I am currently.

I want to write again but I can't do it while the previous posts are still available to be viewed. I want to reinvent myself as a person once I reach IIT Guwahati.

I will soon be turning this blog into history. I will use a feature that blogger has that makes it invisible to search engines and makes it go offline.

By doing so, I might be losing the ~200 odd pageviews that I receive daily but they've lost meaning to me. This blog has breached the 100,000 mark very recently. They are mostly just people getting redirected from google to my list of teenage blogs. That appears to be the only noticeable fallout from me removing this blog from the internet. I am still no closer to completing what I promised about that list but rest assured, it will happen some day.

So, that's a goodbye from me folks.

Until next time,
Adarsh.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The things I should have but didn't (in JEE Mains)

https://qp.digialm.com/Online/touchstone/CBSE1414/CBSE1414D1166/51004780_CBSE1414D1166E1.html#


That is the link to my JEE mains question paper and my answers. Why am I posting it here? I am so pissed off at myself at the mistakes I've made that I can think of no better way to stop thinking about them than posting them here.

Physics

Look at Physics #3.
I am not an idiot. How on Earth can the rotation period of Earth be greater than the revolution period? I distinctly remember noting that and then eliminating some of the options before using the fact that light waves travel way faster than sound waves to get the correct option (3) during the exam. But, here I come and it says that I marked the fourth option. That's five marks I lost for less than NOTHING.

Look at Physics #4.
I know, from chemistry, that diamagnetic means a substance that does not allow magnetic field to be present inside it and I also gave the topic of diamagnetism and paramagnetism from my IPE textbook a few days before the actual exam after finding a question on that topic in one of the earlier papers. The explanation as to why I kept Bs = -B could be that I mistook the question to be asking what the field produced by the super-conductor would be. That's an inexcusable mistake. That's five marks I lost.

Look at Physics #5
I didn't know the conversion that 10 Poise equalled 1 N/m^2 at the time. What makes me angry that I missed this question is that, a friend of mine mentioned it during class a few weeks before the exam and I took no notice of it. That's 5 marks lost.

Look at Physics #10
>.< I swear I did this question. If you looked at the rough sheets I used during the examination, you will find this question in there. I have no idea why it shows that I didn't mark it 0.8 as the correct option. That's 4 marks I should have gotten.

Look at Physics #12
I did it during the exam and got 12.5 (and so did a friend of mine) but later, after the exam, when I did it, I got the answer to be 7.5. That's inexcusable again. 5 marks I lost for NOTHING.

Look at Physics #29
There's absolutely nothing to do in this problem. All I had to do was make 3/2*k*t equal mgh. I remember writing that down in the rought sheets but I didn't substitute 273 for T. I remember feeling freaked out after I noticed that the equation I got didn't contain the 'then looked' crazy values like 546 or 819 which, after the exam, I realized were simply the multiples of 273. This was another unacceptable mistake. 4 marks I didn't gain.

That's a total of 28 marks that I should have otherwise gotten. Note how I didn't mention #2 (Although I 'knew' the things needed to do that, I couldn't because I didn't really fully understand that. So, it's a reasonable mistake.) or #8 or #11 (I disregarded the second arm which is something I shouldn't have done but then, it's okay. It was entirely avoidable but I'm not very accurate always. Understandable) or #21 (Which I could have done had I been given 6-8 minutes)  or #27.


See? That's why I'm so pissed off at myself. That's 28 marks I should have gotten but didn't.

And that's just in Physics.


Chemistry

Look at Chemistry #18
I distinctly remember knowing during the exam that propionic acid was the answer. I even remember marking it but >.< according to the link, I didn't mark it as the answer. I... don't know who to be pissed off at. This question is rather trivial. The three chlorines will be replaced by three hydroxyls initially but then dehydration will take place and H2O will be eliminated giving a carboxylic acid. PIECE OF CAKE. That's 4 marks I SHOULD HAVE gained.

Look at Chemistry #29
Getting this question incorrect was rather unfortunate. Any other day of the week and I would have gotten it correct. This was such a silly question. During the exam, I got Carbon's Oxidation state in C2O4(2-) to be +5. I knew that was weird then and there but then, I subdued that feeling. Gah!

That's 9 marks I should have gotten.

Note how I didn't mention #14 (Where my didn't register the 'per atom' properly. Otherwise, I would have gotten that correct) or #9 (Where I was almost going to mark methyl alcohol but then, my too-smart(sarcastically) brain asked the question 'N2 jaayga par -OH kaha se aayga? and bam. I wrote diazomethane. Aah.)



Math

Look at #2
It was SIMPLE L'hospital's rule problem. All I had to do was derivate the numerator and the denominator properly (and realize that sin(pi - x) = sinx but then I did realize that during the exam and that lim sinx/x tends to 1 as x tends to zero which again, I knew during the exam) and I fudged up at that. I didn't consider the extra 2 I should have gotten in the denominator for differentiating the square root. That's 5 marks I lost for NOTHING.

Look at #14
I swore I attempted this. If you'd look at the rough sheets I used, you'd find the graphs of the two functions and the answer beside them. I have no idea why the computer didn't register my answer. This is a trivial problem for anyone who knows a little bit of math and I am sure I have learned more than a little bit of math in the last two years. That's 4 marks I SHOULD HAVE gotten.


So that's 9 marks I should have gotten apart from say (#28 or #22 or #7 which were doable problems but they aren't counted here as they could have gone either way)


In total, that's 46 marks that I should have otherwise gotten. Add that to the ~204 I'm getting now and that's a 250 (at the minimum as I didn't mention a lot of other problems that I could have done had the time been on my side).

 So, that's why I'm pissed. I got 46 marks less than what somebody who knows the amount of subject that I do should get and 46 marks I lost for absolutely NO REASONABLE REASON.


What bothers me isn't that I got a ~200 [I mean, it's obviously clear from the post above that I KNOW that I was capable of reaching a 250 (or say a 240)] but that I kind of let down the people around me. Getting a ~72 in math instead of say something above 80 is an insult to the amount of Math I've done over the past two years and getting a ~40 in Physics is heart-piercing after all the practice I've done over the last one year. I mean, I wanted to get a ~80/90 in both of those subjects to at least have a quantitative proof that I've done/learnt some decent Physics/Math over the past two years but that opportunity was taken away from me by me. And that pisses me off immensely. Sure, even with a 250, I perhaps couldn't have gotten into say the IISc but still, a 250 would have been a reasonable score. Instead, I end up with a <200.

Phew. It feels good to have posted all the questions I could have gotten correct but didn't here because, anybody who knows a decent bit of Physics/Math could look at the problems I've done incorrectly and think/say 'This guy is an idiot. He did the other problems correctly but stumbled here.' and perhaps 'agree with me' when I say that those were 46 marks I should have gotten. Why is this small, I'm not sure.

But the fact remains that I didn't. I lost out on those 46 marks and ended up with a sub-par score. Not much I can do about it now other than 'accept' it and move on to the JEE Advanced.

The JEE advanced is a whole different ball-game. One for which I'll have to work hard and smart to do well. I totally plan on putting in the required effort over the next few weeks to see through it. I will need luck too.

Until next time,

Adarsh.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The JEE mains turned out to be rather disappointing. What now?

Ten to fifteen minutes ago, I was checking my answers for the JEE mains test that I wrote on the 19th of April with the unofficial key released on a Facebook page and my score turned out to be rather disappointing. I did terribly in Physics, just scarcely okay Math and wonderfully in Chemistry.


~6 months ago, the JEE mains didn't mean much to me. There wasn't a single college that I'd wanted to go to which took admissions only through the JEE mains. Along came IISc and then MEC and suddenly I wanted to do well in it just so that I could have an option of going there. But with the score that I'm getting, there's no possible way that I can get admitted into the IISc. MEC remains doubtful with no data available on the previous years cut-offs (because there weren't any).


At this point, I must admit, the future looks bleak. IISc and MEC were supposed to be my safety colleges but now with them being pulled out of the picture by a poor performance in the JEE Mains, it is going to be a perform or perish moment when the BITSAT and the JEE Adv. come along next month. The thought of it being July and me not having a proper college to study in terrifies me.


What now? Right now, I have to prepare my room and my mind to accept the fact that I will be going to study Math, Physics and Chemistry from tomorrow again.

Edit : A friend helped me achieve that last goal.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

I was lying in my bed with my eyes closed and a towel over them when I heard it. A long 2-3 second whine/yelp/cry. It took a second before my mind registered that the sound was not being made by Dingo. If it was not Dingo, it was JOHNNY. I got up from my bed in a split second and rushed towards the grill room as quickly as I could. I saw her lying there along with a pool of blood slightly away from her head containing a solidified thing that looked like some internal organ. I sat down right beside it near her head. She was not moving. My brother arrived a half-second later. I told him "Poi mummy, daddy ki chepu." and he rushed out to inform them. He came back quickly followed by my parents. All this while, Johnny had not moved it's head. It's eyes were open, it's body still as a log. I looked at it's stomach, the rhythmic contractions and expansions that indicate breathing were no longer there. It had died. My died sat across it and beside me. He nudged its head saying "Johnny. Johnny". No response. It had died. He stopped doing it after it became apparent that it was not going to respond. I simply continued to stroke her head.

...

April 2nd, 2014

"Veeru." I heard as I opened my eyes. "Johnny ki accident ayindi. Daani kaalu iriginattundi, bleed aitundi." I got up as quickly as I could and rushed out. I saw my dad sitting on the ground with Johnny in front of him. I looked around and saw drops of blood here and there strewn all over. I sat down right beside it and began stroking its head slowly letting it know that I was there. My dad had tied a cloth around the area from where it was bleeding but the area was wet and it was continuing to bleed... It got up and changed it's position into a more comfortable one (for us and it) a metre away. I sat down right beside it and continued stroking it's head while my dad sprinkled pasupu over the wounded area for the blood to stop flowing. It was around 6:30 in the morning. The veterinary clinic near my house wouldn't open till 8. I sat down beside it for another 45minutes to an hour. I thought it was going to die. It didn't. We took it to the hospital near our house in the car at eight but the assistant didn't arrive until half past eight and he then suggested us to take it to another better hospital in Narayanguda, around 30 minutes from our home. We did just that ( but not before glcubf vewkdlar. sls.)

There on the prescription, the doctor wrote "RTA... Minorly." That gave me a sense of relief. Up until then I was under the impression that Johnny was going to die but seeing that minorly written there made me realize that it may not be as bad as I thought it would be. Johnny might live after all.

...

It's eyes were open and unblinking. That's when I saw one of its hind leg move by a bit. It was still alive, for a few more seconds I thought. As I continued to stroke its head, it's legs started shaking relatively more violently and even it's front legs. It  then started moving it's eyes. They continually moved left to up, left to up for a few seconds more.

It had risen from the dead. Johnny was alive once again.

My brother arrived with some tulasi leaves that we dipped into it's bowl of water and I placed one leaf in its mouth after my mother told me to. Customary practice.

We were all waiting for life to ebb out of it but it didn't. Johnny continued to breathe and blink.

....
<2 hours later>

Johnny is still alive. It's out there on a rather soft mattress spending it's last minutes staring out into the dark. Still living. For how long, I don't know. I wonder why it had to come back from the dead. I went out there a few minutes ago to stroke it's head and it wagged it's tail on recognizing me.