Sunday, April 14, 2013

Palmistry of Kaka Bujender


January 2007, my mom took me to a palmist (whose name I presume is "Kaka Bujender") in an exhibition. 

I had to dip my hand in some ash-like substance, press it over a piece of paper which would then be sent through a machine and analyzed (6 years later, I'm itching to know what the machine was and how it worked). The result would be a piece of printed paper written in English with a lot of grammatical errors that would make a few predictions about your personality.

My mom found that piece of paper while going through some papers and gave it to me. What follows are some of the predictions on which I can give a definitive comment on. The rest are either too 'hazy' to make out what they truly mean or not enough time has passed.

In no particular order, they are


“When you walk you will walk very fast.”
True
Although I love walking long distances I find it to be a waste of time.  So in order to reduce the time spent in that, I walk as fast as I can without exerting myself too much. I’ve even contemplated jogging as an alternative to walking as for every second I jog, I save about 2 seconds of walking. Also, I hate when people walk in front of me on a sparsely populated road. Overtaking them by walking faster is the only way I can restore peace to my mind or pausing for a second  to fiddle around with my bag allowing them to go too far ahead and disappear around some corner are the only two options and I usually prefer the former.

“You will reach sky and see all stars and moon in your dream itself.”

60-40 in favor of True
I’m not sure about what it exactly mean but my dreams are definitely very vivid. Just thinking about the excitement I feel in those dreams pumps me up and I just can’t stop smiling. I think I can feel my heart beating a bit faster too.

“You will be often suffering from cold.”
Damn True
Bad grammar aside, that is definitely true. I carry a handkerchief on me every single day. I’ve been known to get a cold in mid-summer (So have many people, I know but still, there’s something odd about that)

“When others are in distress, you will run to help them.”
False. Unless ‘others’ means animals (preferably the ones that don’t bite)
A few weeks ago, while going to college, I saw a woman lying flat on the main-road with a bloodied face. Dad and mom were in the car with me. Dad pulled over beside her while mom rushed out and with the help of another concerned biker carried her to the sidewalk. All this while, I didn’t blink. While my mother exclaimed “Oh. That is so bad.” and felt sorry about her, I was sitting there, in the back seat, my head looking out of the window at her, impassive. Not a single thought of ‘sadness’ or apathy came into my head. It was just, blank. I always knew I didn’t care a lot about humans but that incident made it clear. By the way, it turned out that the woman was drunk and had willingly laid herself in the middle of the road and had not been the victim of an accident as anybody would’ve thought.

“Your heart is very soft.”
Untrue in most cases (Unless it means literally)

“A opinion in your mind that whether something happen to you in future will be torturing you.”
o.O

“You will have love towards children. You will take care of them. Carefully. But you won’t get any help from them.”
I don’t know what this means. Almost all my interactions with kids involve one of these situations
-      Me smiling like an idiot when a small child looks at me and makes eye contact. Unless the parent is also  looking.
-        Kids looking at me like I murdered somebody when I speak with them in English.
-          The kid talks some gibberish that I can’t understand so I just smile and look away.


It signs off with
“Pandit Nehru, Julius Caesar, Kamarajar, Anna have got your luck only.”
Really? Who are this Kamarajar and Anna anyway?

And finally,
                                             “You will win what you want!
                                              You have been born to rule this world.
                                              You will get success after success
.....


Do I believe that the lines on my hand determine my personality? Probably not.

I think that I like to believe that there is something that associates a person’s personality with the lines on his hand and that somehow, reading these lines would give us an insight into a person’s personality.

Did I mention that I got all this for only 20 rupees?

That’s a cheap price to pay to feel good.