Sunday, December 15, 2013

4 months and 4 days more.

125*24 hours (exactly 3000 hours) more.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

A little something that occurred.

I game on Sundays. Perhaps a ‘used to’ in between the ‘I’ and ‘game’ would me more appropriate.

I have been ‘forbidden’ from playing that game over the next 6 or so months by the director of my college. I was going to type that ‘forbidden’ isn’t the correct word to use but on second thought, I realized it was.

So, here’s what happened.

I play Dota 2 on Sundays along with a few of my friends. Let’s call them C,B,T, R and A. R quit the game one-two months ago but is still very much a part of this story.

While A and myself play the game only on Sundays (and study fairly well) the same cannot be said for C, B and T. They got so hooked to the game that they began bunking college to play it. For them, it initially was only Sundays.But it grew into something more. They (C,B and T) began playing 2 games every single day after college. They told their parents that they would attend the evening study hours at college and went to play instead.

                The fairy-tale didn’t last very long though. One day, they were spotted on the street by T’s dad who followed them till the gaming centre. From then on, C and T abated playing but B went on.
B began bunking the afternoon session and some days wouldn’t come to college at all just to play the game. Though C and T avoided going with him for a while they couldn’t resist for long. Even they started bunking along with him.

One day, I went to the top floor of my college building to ask the director (who happens to my Physics teacher) a doubt. He was busy talking to some first yearite. So, I waited in the hall-way. That’s when T walked in along with C’s mother. After eavesdropping on the conversation for a bit, I learnt that C had not attended the afternoon session but had not returned home either. It was clearly apparent where he had gone and with whom. Well, then C’s mom started crying and said that she was so angry at the gaming centre that she said that she would probably bring ten people and break it’s glass. All the while, I was in the hallway just listening with a passive face.

                Then I saw her exit. After a few minutes, I was called in. I went in without feeling a thing. I mean,  had no part in this. I never bunked college to play the game nor did I let it interfere a lot with my studies unlike them. There was nothing that could be held against me. I noticed T crying from the side of my eye.
The director asks me ‘Do you play with him(indicating T)?’ I said ‘Yes.’  And a ‘only on Sundays.’ Just to indicate/remind him as I’d told him myself that I played videogames on Sundays a few days back when he asked me what I did on Sundays.

He then asked me ‘Did you know that these fellows bunked college to play the game?’ to which I nodded my head saying ‘Yes.’

He then said something along the lines of ‘They are you playmates. Did you never tell them not to play?’ to which I just shrugged and looked away. When he sensed I wasn’t going to reply he again said ‘They bunk college to go play the game..” which is when T (who was behind me says) ‘It’s not his fault sir.’ I thought ‘Uhm. Yes, of course it’s not my fault. He isn’t saying it is.’ And Sir looked at me to see if I believed what he was saying and greeted by my impassive face he said ‘I’m not saying it is.’ And  ‘All I’m saying is that you need to influence them to not play.’ To which I just shrug because I didn’t have anything to say.

He then told me that C’s mom had just come and cried because her son had bunked college to go play the game. Again, an impassive face from me as I simply didn’t (still don’t though to a lesser degree) feel responsible.

When he (the director) couldn’t elicit any response at all, he got a little agitated and just basically said everything he already did with a voice that exhibited a little disbelief as to how I could be so nonchalant about the matter.

That’s when I said ‘Sometimes we do talk about how much time we spend playing the game. But, it’s just that..”

That’s when another sir(let’s call him B) walks in and the D tells him “Even Adarsh plays with them.” To which B replies ‘Oh. He’s also gone?’ And D tells him ‘No, he isn’t gone. He goes on Sundays only.’ Or something like that. To which B says “ooh. So, that’s where the respectability comes from.” And I just blankly looked at him not understanding what he meant. That’s when he moved across the room and sat down.

D tells him “He doesn’t understand that. He says ‘I tell them not to play but if they play, what’s my fault.’ ”
And then B starts saying something along the lines of..

                When people are in a position of respect, they cannot do things. Like myself and D, we can’t do some things because of the position we are in. Like if Manmohan singh, tomorrow gets into a scandal and stuff I don’t remember. He then said, as a responsible member of society what you do matters.
His point basically was that I couldn’t say I wasn’t responsible and throw a blind eye to the happenings. I was responsible for influencing them. As in, they probably thought ‘Adarsh studies well. He plays video games. Why can’t we?’ or something like that.

I understood the point he was trying to make though I didn’t agree with it 100% and nodded my head.
Then D said, ‘the last time you told me you played I thought it was okay but I’ll have to do something about it now. You’re going to stop playing now or I’ll stop interacting with you.’

It wasn’t like I had much of an option there so I just said ‘fine.’

Also he said “ I’m going to talk with your mother.” To which I said “It isn’t necessary. I’ll stop playing.” But he said ‘No. No. I’ll tell her.’ To which again, I just nodded as there wasn’t much I could do.
And yeah, in between all that, D accepted that I had my situation under control.

Well, T, B and the other guy quit the room and then I asked the doubt I was going to and went home. When I told mom about what occurred.

Anyway, as I thought about the events that occurred that day I realized that I was indeed a good guy and not as bad as D made me think of myself as.

I mean, I always dissuaded R from playing the game as his grades used to be affected. Also, when R said he’ll introduce N to the game, I strongly suggested N to not play the game. Also, when O said he wanted to come with me, I told him to come at his own risk. I never really told B, T and C to not play the game as I didn’t think they would listen to me and I thought they knew what they were getting themselves into.


Anyway, I didn’t mind all that (since as far personal conscience is considered, it is still clean).
But things took a sharp turn yesterday that left me seething with anger.

I was asked my D if any ‘exchange’ of money took place. He basically accused me of ‘gambling’. And when I downright rejected any such reference with a fairly firm voice, he didn’t seem convinced plus, my mom didn’t seem very convinced either. Oh boy. That stung so much. I was so pissed off and still am. The word that’d describe what I was feeling is ‘furious’. It wasn’t the question that hurt as much as the fact that they didn’t seem convinced when I furiously rejected the idea.


Also, D told my mom that ‘I had promised him that I wouldn’t play.’ To which my mom said ‘He didn’t tell me that. He told me what happened but he didn’t tell me he promised.’ To which I raised my voice by a little so that it’ll be audible and said ‘Because I didn’t say. I never said ‘I promise’.’ And D just said ‘That was understood. I mean, I told him that if he plays the game I won’t interact with him. So, that was just like saying that he promised.’ To which I just said ‘Yes, I won’t play.’

Let’s analyze what just happened above.

D believed that it was obvious that if asked to choose between interacting with him and Dota 2, it was obvious that I would choose interacting with him.

Which is true but I didn’t like the way he translated that into me promising him that I wouldn’t play Dota 2.
Well, that is the rational thing to do in this circumstance but I wasn’t a big fan of him being so sure that I’d do that. I have a general distaste for people figuring what I’m thinking for me.

For a second there, I might have actually considered Dota 2 as an option just so that I could prove him wrong. In fact, I’m sure that in some parallel universe, a certain Adarsh actually chose Dota 2 over interacting with him. I mean, I can do stupid stuff to prove myself correct.

                I probably could’ve chosen Dota 2 and not interacted with him over the entire next year and still done equally good in Physics though it’d have taken more effort (provided I can still attend his lectures and that interacting with him only involves asking questions in and after class). I’ll probably be in a spot if he reads the previous statement but I believe that to be true. It’d be a pretty stupid choice and I’d feel bad about the Adarsh in that universe but some part of me would’ve liked that.


Anyway, there’s no use clinging on to the past. What’s done is done. Now, I need to focus on what’s next.

The next 6 months are going to be crucial and I intend on making full use of them (as was the plan always).

With that, I bid adieu.

Until next time,

Adarsh.

Edit : I just hit 100 followers.

PS : I already spent 2 hours on this post. Mom just popped in to ask ' In how much more time will you shut it down?' to which I replied '5 minutes.'... I'm really not a big fan of all this intrusiveness all for no real fault of mine. S.P. She keeps popping into my room to see if I'm playing/watching that game.

Not a lot I can do about it now. The most rational thing to do is give in. Just ~250 days more.

Oh and yeah, I'm getting a <1000 rank in the JEE adv - 2014.
(as in, I'm telling you I will.)

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Yes. Yes. I am alive.

Reading through some of the old posts here I realized that I've changed in more ways than one.

For better, or for worse.

"What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare."

Those posts reek of childish enthusiasm that I've long since tasted. I feel like I'm no longer the wide-eyed curious kid I was an year and half ago before entering my college. My eyes have since glazed a bit both figuratively and literally. But then again, in terms of solving multiple choice questions, I'm a lot better than what I was. It has been a trade where it should have been an addition.


I called up some of my school teachers to wish them a happy teacher's day. It felt good, I felt genuinely happy.


There is not a lot to say.

I just wish that this part of my life get's over as quickly as possible and I put in as much effort as I can without trading my individuality for something much more temporary.


With that, I bid adieu.

Until next time,
Adarsh.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Palmistry of Kaka Bujender


January 2007, my mom took me to a palmist (whose name I presume is "Kaka Bujender") in an exhibition. 

I had to dip my hand in some ash-like substance, press it over a piece of paper which would then be sent through a machine and analyzed (6 years later, I'm itching to know what the machine was and how it worked). The result would be a piece of printed paper written in English with a lot of grammatical errors that would make a few predictions about your personality.

My mom found that piece of paper while going through some papers and gave it to me. What follows are some of the predictions on which I can give a definitive comment on. The rest are either too 'hazy' to make out what they truly mean or not enough time has passed.

In no particular order, they are


“When you walk you will walk very fast.”
True
Although I love walking long distances I find it to be a waste of time.  So in order to reduce the time spent in that, I walk as fast as I can without exerting myself too much. I’ve even contemplated jogging as an alternative to walking as for every second I jog, I save about 2 seconds of walking. Also, I hate when people walk in front of me on a sparsely populated road. Overtaking them by walking faster is the only way I can restore peace to my mind or pausing for a second  to fiddle around with my bag allowing them to go too far ahead and disappear around some corner are the only two options and I usually prefer the former.

“You will reach sky and see all stars and moon in your dream itself.”

60-40 in favor of True
I’m not sure about what it exactly mean but my dreams are definitely very vivid. Just thinking about the excitement I feel in those dreams pumps me up and I just can’t stop smiling. I think I can feel my heart beating a bit faster too.

“You will be often suffering from cold.”
Damn True
Bad grammar aside, that is definitely true. I carry a handkerchief on me every single day. I’ve been known to get a cold in mid-summer (So have many people, I know but still, there’s something odd about that)

“When others are in distress, you will run to help them.”
False. Unless ‘others’ means animals (preferably the ones that don’t bite)
A few weeks ago, while going to college, I saw a woman lying flat on the main-road with a bloodied face. Dad and mom were in the car with me. Dad pulled over beside her while mom rushed out and with the help of another concerned biker carried her to the sidewalk. All this while, I didn’t blink. While my mother exclaimed “Oh. That is so bad.” and felt sorry about her, I was sitting there, in the back seat, my head looking out of the window at her, impassive. Not a single thought of ‘sadness’ or apathy came into my head. It was just, blank. I always knew I didn’t care a lot about humans but that incident made it clear. By the way, it turned out that the woman was drunk and had willingly laid herself in the middle of the road and had not been the victim of an accident as anybody would’ve thought.

“Your heart is very soft.”
Untrue in most cases (Unless it means literally)

“A opinion in your mind that whether something happen to you in future will be torturing you.”
o.O

“You will have love towards children. You will take care of them. Carefully. But you won’t get any help from them.”
I don’t know what this means. Almost all my interactions with kids involve one of these situations
-      Me smiling like an idiot when a small child looks at me and makes eye contact. Unless the parent is also  looking.
-        Kids looking at me like I murdered somebody when I speak with them in English.
-          The kid talks some gibberish that I can’t understand so I just smile and look away.


It signs off with
“Pandit Nehru, Julius Caesar, Kamarajar, Anna have got your luck only.”
Really? Who are this Kamarajar and Anna anyway?

And finally,
                                             “You will win what you want!
                                              You have been born to rule this world.
                                              You will get success after success
.....


Do I believe that the lines on my hand determine my personality? Probably not.

I think that I like to believe that there is something that associates a person’s personality with the lines on his hand and that somehow, reading these lines would give us an insight into a person’s personality.

Did I mention that I got all this for only 20 rupees?

That’s a cheap price to pay to feel good.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Random update


I’m finally done with the SAT. Wrote it 2 days ago and I really hope that I did well enough to avoid writing it again. It’s not that I loathe reading passages and answering questions based on them but they sometimes feel too easy and I’d rather be doing something more challenging.

Now, I believe, I have to shift my focus to the impending boards.

Yesterday, while watching "The Avengers" on Star Movies for the first time, I came across the following scene.

Tony Stark walks in while the Avengers are talking about some weapon that Loki’s planning on using. He then starts talking very technically about it, obviously potraying a deep knowledge of the subject. That’s when Natasha Romanoff, I believe, asks “When did you become an expert in Thermonuclear Astrophysics?” Stark replies “Yesterday night.”

For reasons unknown, that ‘quote’ just refuses to get out of my mind. It blows my mind every time I think about it…

Anyway, I’m feeling sleepy.

Until next time,
Adarsh.

Monday, January 21, 2013

The last 8 days


I remember the afternoon of Saturday, Jan 12th vividly. I was in the classroom chattering with my friends after a boring morning in which I didn’t learn much. I spotted a silhouette on the extreme right side of my vision and then hushed up the guy I was talking to by saying “Shh..Sir, Sir, Sir.” A few seconds later, sure enough, our mathematics sir walked up to the black board, wished all of us good morning and started the class. I remember the silent groan that I gave loathing another period before they left us. 50 minutes later, the sir walked out and the chatter resumed. I was waiting expectantly for somebody to walk in and tell us that the college had ended and that we were free to leave. A few minutes later, that was what happened. Half the class stood up instantly as soon as Sir uttered those words and I think I spotted an amused smile on his face.  
I felt free after a long time. There was no math worksheet pending after coming home, no test the next day which I hadn’t prepared for,  no lesson in chemistry that I was supposed to read and come.  It was an entire week free from deadlines.  It felt good.

A week and 2 days later, here I am.  It’s 17 minutes past midnight and in about 8 hours, college will have resumed.

How did the past one week go?

The rest of this post will answer that question.

I spent the first four days of the holidays at my cousin’s house flying kites. I went there ASAP after college and spent the next four days flying kites ~8 hours a day and the remaining time watching Telugu movies with a horrendous amount of advertisement breaks, downloading things I’ve always wanted on the god-like 1mbps download speed, playing Civilization IV: Colonization, surfing reddit and very rarely solving math worksheets. 

Going to my cousin’s house for Sankranti (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Makar_Sankranti) and flying kites has been a tradition for as long as I can remember. His house is situated in a neighbourhood near Charminar and a humongous amount of people fly kites there when compared to my locality’s kite-flying density.  I, like always, had a great time flying kites! It did get monotonous at the end of four days but I loved it. It was my best Sankranti in terms of the number of kites that I cut individually (~25) It felt different not being in my house/room. The atmosphere. It made me appreciate the atmosphere of my room more J. We marked the end of the Sankranti ’13 by flying this huge 2-pound black colored kite (that fell on our roof-top) and giving as much ‘dheel’ as we could. We exhausted all the ‘saadhi’, all my manja plus every last inch of thread we had left. It went so far that when an aeroplane passed beside it, it felt like they were at the same height! It persisted for an extremely long amount of time considering that the kite-flying was normal. People were challenging one another and fights were all running and yet our kite persisted as the thread was at the perfect place, going exactly in between a couple of trees. In the end, some idiotic dumbass guy wantedly flew his kite right through our thread cutting it. I followed it closely until it disappeared off the horizon which was also incidentally when the night was almost nigh.

I returned to my room sweet room on the night of 15th January with a feeling that I’ve had excess fun. My mom asked me “So..You had fun?” and I replied “Yeah. A lot of fun. More than necessary.” And she was like “Ooh. Really?”

The next day, I installed Civilization 3 on my laptop and played for 4 hours 44 minutes and 25 seconds straight. X_X I felt like crap after that marathon gaming session, mildly disgusted at myself and promised to make up for it. I can’t remember if I did.

For the next few days until yesterday, I balanced studying for the SAT, studying French and playing AoE or Civ. It was hard, I’ll give you that. I did manage to get a lot of SAT practice done though.

Yesterday(Saturday..), I spent the entire morning trying to play a single full game of AoE or Dota on Gameranger but the stupid internet kept disconnecting  ~15 minutes into the game. After it happened several times, I got disgusted and quit trying. 2 days later, the internet is still no better. Anyway, that afternoon, I met up with my school mates and played 3 sets of volleyball against some random opponents at a ground in Khairtabad. It was fun playing volleyball after a long time! The pain I feel while sitting and standing now are temporary scars of the stretching I did on the field that day and I feel good whenever I feel them :P After playing there, I visited GRK gaming centre in Himayath Nagar and spent ~3 hours gaming. Played a game of Fifa ’09 with a friend, checked out some other games and 2 games of Dota2! While there, I saw – in flesh – a guy who has played over 1471 hours of dota2. Yes, you read that right, 1471 hours! I had to fight hard to stop my jaw from falling wide open as I saw that piece of information. I wanted to talk with him desperately and ask him some questions to satiate my curiosity (I might write them down here some other day) but he had ear-phones in his ears, was chatting with somebody and seemed to prefer himself so I just let him be. Did I mention that he has an American accent? A month ago, on my first trip to GRK, I was redirected to a computer that turned out to be ‘his’. He asked me “Sir, when will you be leaving? That’s my system.” I was stunned for a second to hear an American accent from an Indian looking guy but recovered soon and told him that I’ll leave as soon as I finish the game. If I ever get a chance, I’d love to talk with him! I came home at ~9:30pm and fought hard to spend ~2 and a half hours on practicing for the SAT!

Today, (yesterday, I mean) I spent most of my time practicing for the SAT. Solved a boatload of problems, learned a lot of new words and my-my nobody told me the SAT would be so.. difficult!

Anyway, I loved the last 8 days and I feel extremely reluctant to get back to college but hey, it’s got to happen someday. I sincerely hope that the experiences I had in the past 8 days will help me with balancing my life and doing well in college (something that isn’t very frequent nowadays. Sigh.)

The SAT is in 6 days and I’m looking forward to getting done with it. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time preparing for it and while I don’t feel I’m at the top of my game, I think I’ve had enough. I’ve got college to focus on and the SAT doesn’t really allow me to do so.

The pre-finals – 1 are starting today. English is the first one so I’m pretty relaxed but they’ll soon grow uncontrollably out of control. I just hope I can manage practicing for the SAT and studying for the pre-final. That’d mean no wastage of time!

AM, over the next 5 days, I am going to work at my highest potential with maximum efficiency that I can manage. Please call all my grey-cells and tell them to be ready at the slightest notice. NOW.

That’s all for now.

Until next time,
Adarsh.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

My Goals for 2013


I haven't written a review of 2012 this year but I'm going to list out all the goals in several spheres of life that I hope to achieve in 2013. Some of them might seem silly to you but hey, they're my goals!

Anyway,  in no particular order they are -

Academic Goals
-          Ace the XI board exams by getting a >93%
-          A 2300 on the SAT (It’s in 26 days!)
-          A 2400 on the SAT Subject tests
-          Clear the cut-off for NSEP and NSEC
-          Get >85% in at least 70% of the tests conducted in the college
-          Top the class by a margin of 30 marks in at least 50% of the grand tests.
-          Solve every problem in Irodov from all the chapters completed until now.
-          Solve 90% of all worksheets given in College

Social Goals
-          Hang out with friends at least 8 times in the entire year.
-          Stay in touch with people I’ve known.
-          Visit friends at their places at least 6 times. (5 times remaining)

Health Goals
-          Gain 8 kilos by the end of the year
-          Run for at least 13 hours in the entire year.
-          Be able to complete at least 8 push-ups continuously.

Activity Goals
-          Post consistently on my blog. At least 13 ‘big’ posts.
-          ~10 hours of Dota 2 and an equivalent number of ‘multiplayer’ gaming hours
-          Read ~36 books (200 pages minimum)
-          Give 3 presentations
-          Go through 3 photoshop tutorials.

Self-Education Goals
-          Master French on Duolingo
-          Finish ~3 online courses
-          Read a lot of popular Science books and note stuff down in my blog
-          Don’t stop there.

Miscellaneous Goals
-          Achieve a speed of ~80 wpm with the ‘actual’ way of typing
-          Plant a tree and tend to it for the entire year.
-          Catalogue 50 dreams.
-          Make a difference in somebody’s life.

That is a pretty comprehensive list and I’m sure I will achieve every single one of them. I feel invincible right now. I hope this feeling stays throughout the next 365 days.

It’s the First of January here in India, folks. Happy New Year to you, wherever you’re from! Hope this year is your best one yet!