Saturday, June 4, 2011

My four days in Stone Age
 I was literally thrown back into the stone age for the last four days. It all started with the fluctuation of current which resulted in our “idiot” box going offline and we had to give it for repair. Then, the “amazing”  washing machine also gave way. Finally, the very electricity supply succumbed to some stupid wires somewhere. We were without current and I assumed my parents would call an electrician as soon as possible but then, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR They didn’t! Wtf. We were without electricity for four long days, no electrical appliance worked except my(my bro’s actually) trusty mp3 player which thankfully worked on batteries.

I hated this. I couldn’t do any effing thing. After 5pm when the light starts to dim and evening announces its arrival, all I could do was go up (not to heaven, but to my grandma’s house in the second-floor) and watch TV till 10:30 and then fall asleep.

 It went on for 3 full days. Actually, the electrician said he’d come yesterday but he was a SOB. He lied that he’d taken the train. Apparently, he was still in his village and would come the next day. I was like so “effing” angry at that guy. Really, at the very mention of his name, my blood curdles. He is a big-fat liar. When I tell my mom that I’ll get some other guy who knows some courtesy to repair the wires but she says “That guy is our family electrician, we should go to him and not anyone else. That’s professional etiquette.” And I was like “Let professional etiquette be damned to hell. Who gives a shit about it?” but mom finally had her way and I had to contain myself from calling somebody else.

   Seriously, I have this irresistible urge to punch this guy in the stomach. I am so freaking angry and I gotta take it out on somebody and he is the ripe target. When my mom called him today, he said he’ll come around/after 12 noon. It’s 2:30 pm and there is still no sign of him. Really, somebody has to teach him a lesson that just because somebody depends on you doesn’t mean that you can take undue advantage of him.  Somebody’s got to teach him punctuality and that as might well be me. GrRrRrRrR. You know something, even wasting my energy typing on him is useless. I might just as well call him now. For once in my life I’ll take advantage of people mistaking me for a “woman”. That’s it I’m going now……………Here’s what happened : I went with the intention of calling him and shouting at him for being so unpunctual but then, my father woke up just when I was taking the mobile and all the air inside me went “phus”. So, I decided to employ strategy number 2. I asked dad if the electricity guy called and my brother overheard us and when my dad replied no, asked me to dial the number. I dialed and my brother had a short conversation with him. When he cut the call, I asked him what happened, where the hell is he? He replied “He’ll come around 5pm”. I was like “Saale, mkc. Kitne der karta be. Tu aaj paanch baje nahi aaya toh…tu mara re. Tere haddi pasli ek kar doonga. BKD.

  You know how I can exact my revenge? What I’ll do is I’ll call another electrician at 5 o’ clock such that he’ll see him working in our house. I’ll then tell him, “You said 12 noon and you came at 5pm. What do you think we are so heavily depended on you? We can indeed get some other people to do this work for us. By lying you lost the tiny bit of respect I have for you. Now GET LOST! And never come back.” He would feel insulted and walk away and I’d be there grinning at what I’d just done.

…….That is just a theory my friend and like all theories it has some contradictions…..which are…. Seriously, you thought I’d say all that?....LoL..never heard a better joke than that. ‘Insulting’ someone is just way out of my league, I could never get myself to hurt that guy.

 So my final thoughts “Jaande. Baccho se kya ladna? Who khuud seekhega sabakh. Ek din beta, tu bas dekh. Kuch bhi..kuch bhi favour pucha na…tu ‘on the spot dead’. Bas dekh.”

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